Medium Eyes

Looking up at the sky in the backyard.

A: I see 20 asteroids!

H: You do??

A: Yesss, it’s cause I have big eyes to see them.

H: No you don’t! You only have medium eyes.

Un-Birthday

Getting ready for school in the morning…

H: Is Today A’s birthday?

A: No, my birthday is tomorrow.

…

A: Wait! It’s morning! Today IS tomorrow!

…

A: I think. Uhh, Daddy? What day is today?

H: IT NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY!

(It was not his birthday.)

I get back in the car after dropping off H at day care.

A: I sang a secret song while you were gone.

Me: What?

A: It was a song that only me and Santa can know about.

Decided to enroll A in a survey course of pop music and I am the instructor. His reactions:

Lady Gaga: Isn’t it weird that Lady Gaga says I want your disease?

Mikey Cyrus: Good.

Niki Minaj: Play that one again.

Carly Rae Jepsen: That was fun.

Meghan Trainor: Dad, this is so boring.

H from the back seat on the way to school:

Why does she say take the bottle of jack from the party?