Sweet Potato
A dipped a french fry in his milkshake. “Look, H! I made a sweet potato!”
H, waking up on the couch: Who put me in the living room?
Me: I did. You woke up crying last night.
H: Why?
Me: You woke up crying, so I brought you in here with mommy.
H: You should have just woke me up in bed. Not bring me in here.
Playing at the park for the first time since March, 2020.
H: Daddy, daddy! A kid said hi to me!
Medium Eyes
Looking up at the sky in the backyard.
A: I see 20 asteroids!
H: You do??
A: Yesss, it’s cause I have big eyes to see them.
H: No you don’t! You only have medium eyes.
Un-Birthday
Getting ready for school in the morning…
H: Is Today A’s birthday?
A: No, my birthday is tomorrow.
…
A: Wait! It’s morning! Today IS tomorrow!
…
A: I think. Uhh, Daddy? What day is today?
H: IT NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY!
(It was not his birthday.)
Secret Song
I get back in the car after dropping off H at day care.
A: I sang a secret song while you were gone.
Me: What?
A: It was a song that only me and Santa can know about.
Pop Music Survey
Decided to enroll A in a survey course of pop music and I am the instructor. His reactions:
Lady Gaga: Isn’t it weird that Lady Gaga says I want your disease?
Mikey Cyrus: Good.
Niki Minaj: Play that one again.
Carly Rae Jepsen: That was fun.
Meghan Trainor: Dad, this is so boring.
Tick Tok
H from the back seat on the way to school:
Why does she say take the bottle of jack from the party?
San Francisco Bay Blues
A was a big fan of San Francisco Bay Blues by Clapton. So much, that he said:
You know I like the Wood Brothers? But only a little bit because they have weird voices. But this is the kind of weird voice I do like.
Bottles and Lamps
After listening to Christina Aguilera in the car:
A: Daddy! This song is wrong! Genies are supposed to live in lamps – not bottles!