I catch A putting a toy in his mouth.
Me: A, don’t put toys in your mouth. You’ll choke.
A: No I won’t. It’s too big.
Me: Fine. You could catch coronavirus.
A tosses toy into H’s bed.
A: Ok. I’ll give coronavirus to H.
Not there yet
Putting the kids to bed…
Me: Do you want to go fly kites tomorrow?
A: Yes!
H: I want to go to the zoo…
Me: We can’t go right now, baby. There are still germs.
A: You told us in 2021 we could go places again?
Black Ice
Driving home during a snow day. Called my mother to tell her the schools were closed. As soon as we hang up, A asks…
A: Why did G-mo say not to hit a black guy?
Me: Black ICE! ICE!
I hope so
H: Daddy, what if you die when you’re a grown up and we’re still kids?
Me: I won’t let that happen, H.
H: But what about G-mo and Nanne? What if they get really old?
Me: I don’t know, baby.
H: But why does everyone have to die when they get old?
Me: So new babies can be born.
H: Will we be new babies again?
Sweet Potato
A dipped a french fry in his milkshake. “Look, H! I made a sweet potato!”
H, waking up on the couch: Who put me in the living room?
Me: I did. You woke up crying last night.
H: Why?
Me: You woke up crying, so I brought you in here with mommy.
H: You should have just woke me up in bed. Not bring me in here.
Playing at the park for the first time since March, 2020.
H: Daddy, daddy! A kid said hi to me!
Medium Eyes
Looking up at the sky in the backyard.
A: I see 20 asteroids!
H: You do??
A: Yesss, it’s cause I have big eyes to see them.
H: No you don’t! You only have medium eyes.
Un-Birthday
Getting ready for school in the morning…
H: Is Today A’s birthday?
A: No, my birthday is tomorrow.
…
A: Wait! It’s morning! Today IS tomorrow!
…
A: I think. Uhh, Daddy? What day is today?
H: IT NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY!
(It was not his birthday.)
Secret Song
I get back in the car after dropping off H at day care.
A: I sang a secret song while you were gone.
Me: What?
A: It was a song that only me and Santa can know about.