Hugs goodnight while on a business trip
Statuses
So Beyond. Past Bed and Bath. Into the Beyond. Balls.
Fuck. That was…not easy.
Passive aggressive sticky note behind the Dillard’s kids section cash register.
Driving to my sister’s house for Christmas Eve dinner, my son asks if Disney Land is named after Disney+
Nathaniel Rateliff’s song S.O.B. is playing in the car.
H: Is this song called SOB?
A: No, it’s called Son of a Bitch.
Watching a survival documentary on National Geographic…
“This program contains images of tribal nudity”
Moments later
Kids: Eeeeeewww!
A: He ate a beetle larva!
H: He ate that cause he’s in nature, and there’s no food when you’re in nature.
H asks…
H: Dad, what color is your heart for real?
Me: Uhh, dark red?
H: No! That’s maroooooon!
Don’t tell me Covid and quarantine didn’t mentally fuck up a generation of kids.
H, sobbing before bed…
I don’t want to die someday.
And then…
But what if you and mommy die when I’m still a kid?
I catch A putting a toy in his mouth.
Me: A, don’t put toys in your mouth. You’ll choke.
A: No I won’t. It’s too big.
Me: Fine. You could catch coronavirus.
A tosses toy into H’s bed.
A: Ok. I’ll give coronavirus to H.